1. Your traditional shotgun to the face.
2. Boiling them alive in reused vegetable oil.
3. Starving them in an empty room.
4. Amputating their limbs with a plastic knife.
5. Feeding them to a bear.
6. Driving over their bodies with an army tank.
7. Sending them to Afghanistan.
9. Dipping them into vats of hot mustard.
10. Suffocating them with their own fur.
11. Dragging them through a three mile cheese grater.
12. Injecting nitroglycerin into their body.
13. Setting their head on fire.
14. Pushing them underneath a working press.
15. Tripping them over into a bed of nails.
16. Pouring a bucket on piranhas down their throats.
17. Forcing them into a meat grinder and making chilli con carne out of them.
18. Shooting them with paintballs for seventeen hours.
19. Shoving their faces into a deep fryer.
20. Pouring acid onto their stomachs.
21. Sacrificing them to a giant spider.
22. Deporting them to Guantanamo Bay on twenty three fake charges of child molestation.